I've been so self conscious all my life because when I was younger the kids used to call me alpacadome and to make things worst I recently got bitch slapped in my mouth for eating the last hard boiled egg. Then I saw you and realized we were a match made in heaven. I've been wanting to come up to you and say hi, but I sound like sylvester stallone when I talk because my mouth got jacked. Won't you be my man-pie?