Okay I might have overreacted a little bit and been maybe *too* worried about STDs given that I had zero evidence except that slight redness that you said was just irritated skin (I mean other than a pretty bizarre post-hookup dream I had... but I believe in the significance of dreams), but you were very kind and tolerant, which is obvs a nice thing for a gynecologist to be.

Since my regular (female) one was on vacation, I made an appt with you and was more than a little surprised to see that you were a) male b) young, like only a couple years older than me and probably just out of school; and c) rather handsome. You should cut that curly blond hair of yours because it makes you look more like a musician than a gynecologist and it probably makes a lot of your patients want to fuck you, which is very unprofessional of you, making your patients want to fuck you.

So anyway I got a bit nervous when I told you about how I hooked up with a stranger I met in the bookstore and might have got an STD from him, and you were very polite and didn't treat me like I was crazy when I told you about the dream I had, and you were very gentle during the exam (thanks!). And when you told me that the redness was just irritation and I asked you if that might have something to do with the fact that I was a virgin before the bookstore stranger, your eyes kind of got wide, which was flattering because it seemed like you were maybe thinking, "How was this attractive girl a 24 year old virgin??" I agree it's shocking.

Do you call personally to give me the results of my AIDS test? If so, I'm going to ask you out.